The first things that always come to mind when I think of self-esteem are my looks. Am I pretty enough? Am I cute enough? Will he think I’m cute and like me back? For some reason, to me, my self-esteem seems to always come down to my looks making me feel good about myself. So I have to stop, and think for a second about why exactly should self-esteem be born from what I look like?
I pretend I don’t know but, deep down I know I do and I don’t want to feel shallow and basic for admitting it. It’s all over social media! The perfect eyebrows, the on point makeup, having the body all the boys seem to want on a girl… it all derives from social media. As if I have to look like this and that to be loved and get a boyfriend! No! So, after thinking about it, I have to then remind myself that BEAUTY is not about looking like everyone else and following the popular trends to fit in and be liked. Beauty comes from the outside sure, but it comes from within too! But the most special beauty is when we are able to love ourselves from within and reflect it on the outside, because then we fucking glow and that is the kind of beauty and self-esteem and confidence we should all have!
One thing that makes my self confidence boost is when I do things for myself that make me happy. It’s when I do things that I don’t like in the process, but will pay off with results in the end. I love being on a high from achievements and treats I give myself afterwards. To be honest, as a fifteen year old, one thing I really hate to do is exercise… for example; I loathe having to run every week for my physical education class... Like why can’t I just walk?? Running gives me shoulder and side cramps and I get all sweaty and stinky and just NO. But hey, am I going to completely ignore how GOOD I feel afterwards when my body gets the workout it needs, PLUS the extra credit for my class grade when I make it under time? NO! I’m going to take that feeling and that grade and boost my self-confidence for the day, up! I like to believe that even though sometimes we don’t like to do certain things because we’re too lazy and don’t want to, it doesn’t deny the fact that it might be good for us and exactly what we need. So get out there and do that one thing that you’re too lazy to do like running, exercise, studying, writing that next chapter to your book or breaking that bad habit of yours! I know it can be a bit of a struggle but, just keep telling yourself that you can do and accomplish it and you will! You’ll get that sore feeling your body loves because you’re using it, that awesome grade, one chapter closer to the end of your book, and have one less bad habit!
Another thing that helps me with my self-confidence are those that I have around me; my friends, family, and teachers. They all have a huge impact on the way I see myself and get through my bad days. Some friends can honestly not be a help and just a contributor to feeling bad about yourself and those are the kind of friends you should not have to be around. I have a couple of those and we’re still friends because we’ve been close for so long so, I understand that sometimes it can be hard to just get up and drop them. However, if they solely continue to have only a negative impact on you and the way you look at things they aren’t any good for you or doing any good for your well-being. I advise to drop them! Making new friends can be a little stressful, but just go out and do it! I guarantee you that girl you sit next to in math or history class wouldn’t mind being friends! Kill ‘em with kindness! Family also plays a big role for me. My mom is one who continues to support all of my brothers and sisters and me. She’s always had our backs and sees nothing but the potential and good we can do one day. I know a lot of us might think that we can’t choose who are family is and that we might not have a good family situation but, hey! We CAN choose who our family is! Friends are family! Internet friends are family! A sport team is a family! A CLASS can be a family! As long as you ALWAYS surround yourself with those who do nothing but support you and love you for who you are and your mistakes and recognize that nobody is perfect and will not criticize and bring you down simply because they can, you’re set to becoming a happier more confident and radiant version of yourself.
I remember that as a child, I used to idolize so many stars and be exactly like them and want to beautiful and just be everything that they were, but, now I know better. It’s okay to idolize others, but not to the point that they make you forget who you truly are and what YOU TRULY want to be. Its okay for a child to think like that in my opinion, if they are idolizing and using a good model of a person it’s actually the best thing a child could have really, but when one grows up throughout the years… they start to realize that not even their idol is perfect in everything. Having the beautiful hair, the cutest clothes, the free of any blemishes and acne face, and the luxury lifestyle─ life comes with deeper meaning and significance than the hottest trends and what kind of car you drive. I like to believe that life for every one of us is to fulfill what we born and destined to do. And that loving ourselves and believing in all of the potential of doing great things that we all have is a part of doing so. If you want to cut your hair because you want to change your look, go for it! If you want to buy a whole lot of makeup and learn how to do your own, go for it! You want to buy that cute mini dress that’s in trend because you love it? Those shoes? Those jeans? Do it! As long as you are completely and utterly doing it for yourself! You want to impress YOURSELF with it. You want to get rid of your split ends and getting that cute haircut is just a bonus. You like the way those jeans fit you. Those shoes are super cute and will match your outfit tomorrow. Fulfill your needs guys! Do it for you, you and only you. Stop worrying about what others will think or if they will approve and just do it! YOLO!!! (That’s so out of use but a secret from me to ya’ll, I use that motto on a daily basis…) confidence is key and the only way to achieve is through loving all of ourselves, accepting our flaws, believing in the potential we each have, and just living life to the fullest and not forgetting how beautiful we are. That beauty isn’t only exterior, but also interior.