The Four Letter Word
The “L” word. Otherwise known as, love. A word with many different definitions for a lot of people. Some individuals find it difficult saying or describing this feeling and others throw it around like flower petals. Love means something different to all of us and that can never be changed. But, lets go ahead and define the word first,
Love: an intense feeling of deep affection or a great interest and pleasure in something.
Okay so what does this mean? There is not one kind of love. In fact, there are many types of love that categorize different people and objects in your life. Would you say you have the same type of love for your partner and your favorite pair of shoes? Of course not! Yes, I know, you love the new Vans you just got, but we can’t say that we love the shoes as much as our boyfriend or girlfriend (unless you just really really love those new shoes). The same as our friends and our partners. One is a romantic love and one is platonic so it’s hard to say that we love them the exact same.
Listed below are the major 4 categorizations of love for different people in your life:
It is a passionate and intense love that strikes romantic captivation and sexual affection within individuals. Eros is typically known as an erotic love and also the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship because of the triggering of intense feelings. Eros love focuses typically on yourself and not the other person. It’s more centered around your feelings and not much regard to the other. This part of love is important to budding relationships because it increases the importance of the other person, increases serotonin levels in both individuals, but this love can turn toxic and self-centered if maintained for a long period of time. Commonly, this love ends up turning into Agape love with your partner.
This is a selfless love of a person for another without a sexual significance. It is an unconditional love that accepts the other for what/how they have created themselves despite flaws or faults in life. This love is all about giving and not receiving. If you feel Agape love for a person then your focus is more on giving them your time, affection, effort, trust, etc. than receiving the same amount back. It is also known as a committed, forgiving, and a “choice” love. It also does not have to be romantic. Certain individuals feel this love for the people of the world. They show their acceptance to all and provide benevolence to others. Agape love is most of the time not something you can automatically feel, it’s the choice to love the individual in this certain way. Agape love involves giving your faithfulness, giving your commitment, and the act of will. Agape love can typically be found in spouses and a love for all people, but we don’t want to confuse this with Phila (“brotherly love”) love which holds similar meanings.
This love is known as “brotherly love” or better known as love found in friendships. This is an affectionate and platonic love that is found within families and friends. Care, respect, and passion describes the “brotherly love” and the denoting fondness of the individual. It’s a positive feeling of liking a person in a non romantic way. This is the feeling we have for our friends and family when we tell them “I love you.” There is not sexual attraction or romantic captivation found, but a tenderness and comfortable feeling in their presence.
Storge is a similar love like philia because it is found within families and friendships. It is the natural, native love found within us for this specific person. It is comparable to the love parents have for their newborn child or the love children have for their parents in early ages. This love takes no effort; you are automatically drawn in and showing affection and comfortableness. It is a typical instinct in our nature to form this kind of love when an individual is naturally pleased and relaxed by another that is usually beyond one’s control. Storge love plays on your psychology with the familiar sense of others that results in your involuntary acceptance of them.