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The Back Seat

May 27, 2019

 

 

The silent killer
The deadliest of them all 
The thing that strikes out of nowhere 
The thing that makes your skin crawl 
Depression 
I was happy two minutes ago 
Laughing and joking around with my mom and dad
The laughter settles 
I lean back in my seat 
And 
Immediately 
My entire mood 
Shifted 
I’m on the verge of tears 
But why? 
I have no clue 
Nothing bad happened 
Nothing has changed in the past two minutes
Not anything that could change how I felt in that moment 
And yet 
Here I am 
Silent in the back seat 
Listening to tires on pavement 
And the subtle hymn of the music 
And my parents muffled chatter
Breathing deeply 
And yet soft enough 
So that I dont alert my parents 
To my irrational meltdown 
But its not irrational 
My bodys just tired 
Tired of holding onto to every emotion
All noises soften in my ears 
Until all I can hear are the tears rolling down my face 
And the air traveling in and out of my lungs
I close my eyes 
And let out a final deep exhale 
I am in control 
I open my eyes 
The noises grow louder 
Until i can understand the lyrics to whatever 80s song is playing now 
I look up 
Ask to turn up the volume 
And start singing like an idiot 
Dancing like an idiot 
Laughing harder than a four year old 
 

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